I learned yesterday, as I returned to San Antonio from the New York Conference, that my great friend and mentor, Dr. Gary Jolly in Connecticut was in his last days of life.

That news took my breath away. If I had known before I left NYC, I could have taken the train to CT, I  could have hurried to his bedside, I could have, I could have.........

My niece, who lost her mother by a horrific murder said it best to me, "My mother stopped by my work a week before she was killed to take me to lunch but I didn't go with her because I was busy. Instead of being sad because I didn't go, I think of all the wonderful things that we did do. Not the things that we didn't do."

When my husband, Tim, and I visited Gary and his wife, Jo, in November, I asked him what he wanted his legacy to be. After much thought, he said "That will be up to you, {Peter} Blume and {Chris} Hendrix.    And so it will be. It will take us a few weeks to pull our emotions together to present our thoughts in some cohesive manner to explain what this gentle giant meant not only to us three but to our profession for he was much bigger than us. He meant so much to so many who didn't even know his name. 

Ane they owe him an enormous amount of thanks.   


W

I think the best way to honor your mentor is to go forth with the knowledge and wisdom that they have imparted to you and share it with the world.  In that way, the ripple effect continues and lives are changed.  There is no greater memorial than the continued handing down of knowledge.

Amen!!

Thanks, Ryan.

Some of us have been discussing this same thing tonight. 

I said "I think that he taught me everything that he to teach me."

Now it is my turn to teach others. It is one of the last things that he said to me. I take it to heart. Everyone should. It is the highest honor that we give to our mentors. We honor them by doing what they did for us in the manner they did it.

Dr. Chris Hendrix reminded me tonight how he first me Jolly. He was late for Grand Rounds, having had to drop his young daughter off at day care. Jolly laughed and said, "Yea, I had to drop my daughters Jessica and Dana off at daycare too."

I recalled my first meeting as well. He asked me at a similar grand rounds at the same residency program about a Lauge-Hansen classification and I had a brain freeze and I just admitted it. I said "Dr. Jolly, I just can't remember it right now." He said, "I can never remember it myself."

For the next 20 years he claimed that he couldn't remember that damned Lauge-Hansen classiication although I feel sure that he could. He always said that he could describe a classification but couldn't name it. God love him He's a wonderful human being.

There were residents and especially a Fellow who didn't treat him right and cost him a lot of money. When I asked him how he felt about it all these years later he was so kind. He said he had forgiven the man but he could never forget the wrongs that had cost he and Jo, his wife, over $90,000 and cost them so much grief. I can't help but like him but yes, he hurt us so much.

What a kind, kind man. The "Fellow" he spoke of hurt me greatly as well, professionally and personally, and Jolly helped me to let that go and forgive him but not forget what he had done. Both of us knew that the guilt that he would feel would be punishment alone, as Jolly said.

I say this only as a reminder to those of you have fences to mend, things to say, promises to keep. You never know if you have a tomorrow. Make that phone call when you read this. Don't wait until tomorrow

My residency attendings are incredible people and said the most amazing things.  I have some sayings that stick with me to this day. I teach residents and I tell them to this day these sayings. I feel like in any given circumstance that I will have Ron, Rod, Ed, Dave, Jerry, Dan or Malik talking me through things. Their knowledge and humor is passed to those I teach and hopefully those these young people will teach.  When I see them I always tell them that they are with me every day.

Kathleen,

You and everyone have brought up great points on a topic well worth thinking about.

We all should be aware of who our mentors have been, what they have given to us, and what our obligations are in return. When we hear that one of our mentors or friends is seriously ill we may be shaken, but often don't know what to do. I've often made the effort to call and speak with them. No matter how many friends they have and people that have been mentored or guided by their wisdom and example, they are often humble people. At the time of their need, many may hide out of fear of confronting serious illness and death.

A few of the mentors I made certain to speak with included Herb Rausher, my college room mate's dad who steered me into podiatry, who was dying from stomach cancer; paid a visit to Chester Osborne and my high school music teacher, dying from bladder cancer. When George Sheehan was becoming increasingly ill from prostate cancer I spoke with his son to ask permission to write him a letter. Although George was and is still a hero to many and was shown on the cover of People Magazine, USA Today, let alone praised in every running publication, I wanted to send him a personal note to let him know what he had meant to me. While a year earlier, I spent several hours a day for a few days in coversation, I didn't feel I knew George well enough to speak with him on the phone. I sent off the letter not expecting to hear anything back, but I did receive a very touching hand written note from George. Richard Schuster was another mentor who I let know what I had learned from him and after he died I was honored to present the AAPSM's Richard Schuster memorial award and speak of what he meant personally and to the profession.

From each of these mentors, I, like many have been given from their mentors, learned much about the field of podiatric medicine, people, how to treat and respect patients, and how important giving back is. I think of them each day and try to give back in their honor and memory. 

There are many individuals today of all ages who are having an enormous impact on us and our profession. And we see many giving back in their own ways. It is impossible to mention them all. But many participate here. In the arena of communication and education which helps us all, among many others, we can thank Alan Sherman for what he has provided and opened up here. And Bret Ribotsky's Podiatric Masters series lets us see and visit some of those masters and mentors up close. 

I agree with the all of the ideas expressed in this thread:

1) Think about who your mentors are. Think about friends who influenced you in a positive way.

2) Remember and think about what their lessons were. Take the lessons into your life and act on them.

3) Mention them in conversation, in lectures, or in articles you write where appropriate.

4) If you've heard that any of them are ill or have had some problems do pick up that phone and call them.

5) If you can't handle calling or that isn't your preferred means of communication send them a letter or even an email.

6) Even if they are doing well, send them some communication giving them feedback and letting them know what they've meant to you. Don't wait, the day after tomorrow may be too late.

Steve

I really appreciate the comments that Dr. Kaminsky and Stephen have added here. Such truthful comments and obviously you two "get it" and I imagine that many many more people who read these comments are agreeing as well.

I hope that many readers of this blog picked up the phone today or got onto their email accounts to send a note of thanks because, as several people have said, tomorrow is not guaranteed.

And I was reminded of that this morning when the phone rang and Jo Jolly told me that Gary had passed on. I'm so glad we had many phone calls and even a great visit in CT recently. One of his favorite sayings was Semper Fortis and so I will close with that. It seems appropriate right now. Right now it is important to stay strong.

Kathleen,

Allow me to also offer my condolences on the loss of your mentor, Dr. Jolly.

He gave so much of himself back to the profession, that I agree, the only way to honor his memory is to ccntinue the course of what he did, which is the training of residents and futhering the profession that we all enjoy every day.

Eric 

As you were one of his disciples, preach his gospel to others.  He was a great teacher, caregiver and human being. Knowing you as long as I have, Kathy, you have already been exactly those three things to others.  And that is the way you have thanked him and carried on his legacy.  

Dr. Satterfiled and other Jolly followers,

I, too, am so sadden to hear that my mentor, Gary Peter Jolly, has passed.  What a great man!  Just as I read the opening line, I thought to myself, "I should have called".  A year ago, at the 2009 Midwest Conference in Chicago, one of Jolly's current residents informed me that Jolly's battle with cancer was becoming more difficult.  Somewhere in the last year, I wrote a letter to him, telling him what his life has meant to me, but "I should have called"...

Here is how I think I will honor his memory:  I will think outside the box, not just once in a while, but always.  I will continue to strive to improve treatment methods and surgical techniques.  Gary was the epitome of the quality improvement cycle.  He never stopped the process of continually learning, assessing, perfecting,and learning again.  We used to joke as residents "Don't let Jolly know that another attending is now doing a procedure with the same technique."  Because that's the day Jolly would find another way to do the procedure!

When I was a third year resident (spring 2003) Dr. Russ Gee of New Britian, CT suddenly died.  He was a foot & ankle orthopod at NBG.   I had scrubbed in Gee's case the very morning of his death, his last surgery ever.  Jolly called me with the news the next day and I couldn't help but cry right there on the phone.  Jolly was upset too, but his words to me were, "think about every thing he has taught you, and put it to work". 

Gary, I'll do the same for you.


Kelly J. John, DPM, MHA

What a great tribute it is to Gary that so many of you have taken this opportunity to recognize your beloved and appreciated mentors while they are still with us.  You've all heard the expression that no one ever says, in their last breath, "I wish I had worked more".  By the same token, no one ever regrets reaching out to a friend, loved one or mentor who has enriched their life simply by their friendship. Though I didn't personally know Gary, my life was enriched by the pride I felt for the impressive contributions that he made to podiatry.  May he rest in peace and his memory live on.

Gary Jolly

Another New Englander who continued and moved forward the earlier efforts that his predecessors worked for and dreamed of.

We lost a very effective quality member of the Forward Marchers of this profession. I regret the loss of this most worthy colleague.

I'm proud to have known him and enjoyed his contributions.

Joe Addante