Practice Perfect 742
Technology: Can’t Live With It;
Can't Live Without It
Technology: Can’t Live With It;
Can't Live Without It
Like everyone living in the modern world, I have a deep relationship with technology. Anyone reading this will, of course, be a technology consumer, so each of you has a unique relationship with your technology. And just like any relationship, it has its ups and downs. In my case I have a somewhat dysfunctional relationship with my tech with more downs recently than ups.
First, I’m surrounded by the stuff. I have a smartphone (nothing surprising there). I carry two different computers, a laptop on which I do most of my writing and University work, and a handheld tablet. I occasionally use a separate desktop computer at work. I am currently using a 3rd computer (more on that shortly). I drive an electric car that’s far smarter than me. I have the requisite television at home and a Wi-Fi-wired household. I use multiple technologies at work, and I use an ungodly number of apps.
One of the problems I have is that each of these devices, despite being inanimate objects (supposedly) have individual personalities, and none of them seem to love me. Let’s take my car for example. There is no actual key to enter my car. I have an application on my phone that, when I’m within a certain distance from the car, will automatically unlock the doors. Sounds pretty cool, right? Yeah, it is…when it works. You see, occasionally my car – for reasons unknown – decides it doesn’t want to let me in. Instead, it asks for a key card, and if I didn’t already carry that keycard on me, I wouldn’t be able to enter.
So, picture this. Yours truly is laying prone on the hood of his car, cheek to fiberglass, rubbing the car, whispering sweet nothings into the car’s sensor (since it doesn’t have ears), gently begging the car to, “Please let me in!” I’m certain I feel the car shrug its suspension (because it doesn’t have shoulders) as if to say, “OK, ok, I’ve made you suffer enough. Come in and have a seat….”
Even more occasionally the high-tech display doesn’t activate. Somehow – don’t ask me how – the car can actually move without a display. I know this is possible because I did it once! Yes, I am a lunatic – I agree. I drove the car without knowing speed or any other normal parameters for maybe five minutes when, all of a sudden, the display came on! I think the car had enough messing around with me.
Now, remember that 3rd computer situation I mentioned? As I write, I’m on an old laptop computer that I previously gave to my 9-year-old daughter to use for school when I purchased a new one. Why would I be using my daughter’s computer, you ask? I bet you already know – my regular one stopped working. Yup.
Let’s take a step back. About one month ago, the brand-new handheld tablet I use for consulting work decided to simply stop working. Didn’t turn on. Black screen. Maybe it was protesting bad conditions in some factory or it didn’t like sitting in my workbag. I don’t know. But there it sat, dead as a doornail. I brought it in to the store, and some 19-year-old kid stared at the thing, then stared at me (as if I’d done something wrong), looked back at the stupid thing and said to me, “It’s dead.” Ya think? Three weeks later, I picked up a replacement (because, even though it’s dead we had to send it to someone else to tell us it was officially dead). It took about 4 more hours to reload all of the programs and applications to reconnect to the world.
Then, not one week later, my laptop dies! I think the two machines coordinated it! After downloading an update to the operating system, my computer decides it doesn’t want the battery to hold a charge. As if the stupid thing doesn’t like electricity! I mean, that’s the same thing as a human saying they’re against water! After 4 separate phone calls to the manufacturer and a change of the battery (yes, I’m actually capable of changing a computer battery) it still doesn’t work. So, off to the manufacturer it goes with a likely need to replace the entire thing. I can’t wait for the upcoming hours needed to get the new one working.
Of course, this whole thing happens the night before we start interviewing for our residency program, so I have to scramble to find a computer…hence the theft of my daughter’s computer. It’s a good thing she’s an understanding individual (and 100 pounds and about one-and-a-half feet smaller than me). This entire issue became a short debate between my wife and me.
“I think I’m cursed,” I state.
Her response is to “imply” (in a not-so-subtle way) that I’m somehow at fault.
“What do you think I’m doing?” I ask. “Deliberately breaking my computers?”
“Of course not,” she responds patiently, and, in a highly condescending way, asserts that I am “too vigorous” with my hardware. Too vigorous my foot.
Moral of my story? Unfortunately, there isn’t one because in today’s world it’s just not possible to live without computers. Can’t live with ‘em, can’t live without ‘em. Just remember not to be too vigorous.
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